Is this Family TOO Nice? Family Dichotomy in Little Women Then and Now

 I read Little Women a month ago, and I loved it. It was such a wholesome well rounded book with characters that I absolutely loved. I wanted to be like Jo, I hated how much of a snob Amy was, and I felt like I was involved in all of the in's and out's of the March family. However, there was one thing that I could not wrap my head around... How do they all get along so well?! Any reader that reads Little Women notices the strong bond that the parents and sisters have despite some of their clashing personalities. But I still thought their interactions were eerily compassionate and kind towards each other, with all of them helping out around the house without fuss. I still cannot understand how they could all be as extremely nice as they were to each other (of course I could never understand because I am an only child but I have been a keen observer of my cousins and... they do not get along all that well), especially when I already had strong opinions on some of the characters already. But that was when I realized that times have changed, and while technology and civil liberties have progressed undoubtedly for the better, family ties and the dichotomy of families in America have changed, causing family's to split up more often and focus more on the individual rather than the group. 

Like many studies on family and their togetherness, let us first examine divorce rates in America...

Yikes! That is a huge increase from where the graph starts in the 1860's (When this book takes place). But how could that increase happen when a lot of statistics about marriage should disprove what the current divorce rate is? During the 21st century Millennials have been noted to marry later in life, instead of the younger marriages seen in the 19th century and in Little Women between some of the girls. However, while that statistic sounds like a good thing, many other factors are at play. Some researchers believe that the reason why the current divorce rate is higher than previous years is due to the independence that women have gained in the workplace. This would make sense due to the spike of divorces during the end of the Progressive Era and at the start of the 1970's. This would also correlate to the lack of divorces in America in the 1860's. In Little Women, the girls and the mother are almost always caught in the middle of a "domestic activity" whether it is cross stitching a pillow, knitting socks, cooking meals and cleaning house. However, what happened to Mrs. March and many other women during the civil war era being away from their husbands due to men leaving to fight in the war? And why did the divorce rates not spike up when men came back from war because of this newly found independence? 

Due to the lack of freedoms women had during the era, it would not have been a smart decision for a women to live on their own without support of a husband due to the lack of good paying jobs available. This along with the necessity of a family unit for basic needs like taking care of substantial amounts of chores would deter wives from leaving their husbands during the Civil War era and would prevent daughters from living separate lives from their parents. 

But what is the explanation behind the girls behavior? You never get to see a explosive fight between any of the four girls throughout the entirety of the book. I think this also has something to do with the purpose of family during that era compared to the modern era. Family during that era was meant to be comforting and relieve the stresses of what was going on outside of the home. Siblings would share their lives to their siblings no matter how embarrassing sometimes, looking for advice from their older siblings and even their mothers. This relationship seems almost foreign to some kids and teens who suppress their feelings and don't share this connection with other siblings. A literary example of this disconnect can be seen from Saving Souri. In Saving Souri, both sisters suppress their desires and dreams from each other until Nea and Souri both confront each other at Souri’s apartment where the truth is finally released to both Nea and Duke. Nea’s lack of knowledge on how content Souri was with her life, only magnified how much Nea truly did not understand her sister. 

This disconnect could be attributed to new forms of technology like the internet and social media, forming unrealistic "norms" for teens and tweens. It could also be due to the internet isolating us from other people, making communication with family and friends nerve wracking and embarrassing for the kids. Of course, the shift of technological advances has drastically increased compared to the amount of technological advances during the civil war and reconstruction era, causing modern era children to naturally know more about technology than their parents, compared to the March sisters and their parents during the 1860's. This discrepancy causes children currently to feel less of relation to their parents, causing fights, misunderstanding, and the desire to leave the nest faster.

The fact that the family dichotomy of Americans currently is worse from 100 years ago frightens me. While the advancement of civil liberties and technology have helped Americans in many ways, it has also made us separate from our family unit, causing us to face the double edged sword of family or progress. It makes me sad to think that I questioned the kindness and compassion that the March family shared and how I thought their relationship was strange and abnormal. What we need to do as families is to work together to understand what we truly need from each other. Families have been split long enough, and in order to be put back together we need to listen, to judge less and be selfless to our family. The only way to keep progress and family moving forward is to adapt like the Marches during the civil war, come together, and learn from each other.