The Only Child: A Field Guide for the Multi-sibling Reader

 

Only children, while rare in their condition, are becoming a more frequently brought up by parents throughout the country. And while these children are becoming more common throughout the United States, some older or innocent people have questions regarding only children, their upbringing, and their happiness. In this short field guide, all three of your questions and misconceptions will be answered with our money back guarantee. 

Question #1: Are all only children spoiled?

Most certainly. All only children are spoiled in every way. The expression "born with a silver spoon in their mouth" is one of the most accurate depiction of only children. Only children tend to grow up with extreme needs and desires that children with siblings cannot relate to. Couple their spoiled tendencies with parents that have need for enabling their children embedded in their personality and only children become some of the most devilish children to walk the earth. 

Question #2: Do only children want siblings?

Of course. The only way that a family can be complete is with more than one child. Have you ever seen a normal functioning family with only one child. Absurd to say the least. Most only children will always agree to this answer not just because of their desire to have a normal family but because of their selfishness, they will most likely want another sibling in order to use them for personal playdates, and child interaction due to their lack of social skills. 

Question #3: Do only children feel like they missed out on their childhood?

As our guide has said previously, only children desire to not stand out and be part of a real family. This desire results in an only child feeling like they have been given a disservice in their life, making them grow up too fast and loose out on what some parents believe is one of the most precious moments of their child's life, their childhood. 

Now all of your only child questions have been answered. If you have any other questions regarding only children (While we seriously doubt it due to them having no personality or interests that are worth investigation) go and ask one. The best way to understand an only child and their vastly complex personality and use the primary sources in front of you; just make sure you are not interrupting their important conversations with their imaginary friend.